A week at home alone with 5 kids - the horror!

"Because I Said So" column for The Commercial Appeal

Aug. 5, 2010

I'm going to have to ask you all to listen closely as I type this in a whisper. This week's column comes to you from deep within my walk-in closet, just off the bathroom.

This is one of the toughest times of the year for our household -- the week before the Memphis City Schools resume for the year. My wife, Kristy, teaches English at Central High School, and teachers are required to report to work one week before the students arrive to prepare for the coming year.

At least, that's what Kristy has always told me. She leaves here early in the morning and returns in the late afternoons smelling vaguely of textbooks and happy hour.

So this is my week alone on the front lines. It's the time for me to set aside work and other activities to see to the well-being of the children. As an extra bonus, I'm watching a friend's 3-year-old son as well. That means there are five of them out there. I can hear them through the closed closet and bathroom doors and the locked bedroom door beyond.

Any family, no matter its makeup, is about working together and cooperating to get through the trying times, and the children have done just that. Like the group of stranded ruffians in "Lord of the Flies," they've banded together and claimed the kitchen, living room and my office as their own ... (read more)

Putting kids to work is its own reward

"Because I Said So" column for The Commercial Appeal

July 22, 2010

When my wife and I made the decision to have children, we considered cherubic smiles, a house full of love, the legacy of family and free labor. And it is only now, nearly 13 years later, that I am drawing up plans for daily chores for my four kids. It's long overdue, yet the mere thought of it makes all these years and the trials of parenthood worth it.

Free labor. It gives those of us with kids who are long past that cute, big-eyed stage of babyhood something to continue to appreciate. It's the baby-head smell of adolescent children.

The timing is not arbitrary; it's being synchronized with the beginning of school in a few weeks. My idea is to heap misery upon misery and to then pass the cause of so much upheaval on their schools. I can't carry this burden alone. With that in mind, I gathered my flock in close and proposed the idea of daily work, and the first question, the only question, really, was "How much do we get paid?"

I opened my mouth to answer, and the voice that came out, as though channeled from a different era, one of disco and gasoline rationing, was that of a woman a bit younger than I, speaking to her own 8-year-old son.

"You have a roof over your head," I heard my mother saying ... (read more)

A lasting legacy: Body-donor program helps MERI train doctors in new techniques

Feature story in The Commercial Appeal

July 11, 2010

The next time you or a loved one is to undergo surgery, consider that the performing physician may have been trained on that procedure or the procedure itself may have been developed right in the heart of Midtown Memphis.

Located near Union Avenue and Cleveland, the Medical Education & Research Institute — MERI — is conducting hands-on teaching and training for physicians who travel to Memphis from across the country and around the world. At the forefront of this education is the use of cadavers donated through the Genesis Donor Program for the express purpose of furthering medical know-how.

"Our mission is to impact patient safety and ensure that physicians have a way to learn the new procedures," said Diana Kelly, manager of institutional development at MERI. "They are able to come here and practice on an uninvolved cadaver before they work on us. That's a much-preferred method."

The old adage "practice makes perfect" applies to sports and the arts, but possibly no place is it more apropos than in the medical field with those who take our lives in their hands on a daily basis.

"These techniques and improvements are coming at us very quickly, and there's constantly a new and better way to do a surgical practice, so that's where we come into play," Kelly said.

MERI is a nonprofit, state-of-the-art facility begun 15 years ago through the inspiration of Dr. Kevin Foley and as a joint venture of Baptist Memorial Healthcare Corp., Methodist Le Bonheur Healthcare Corp. and Semmes-Murphey Neurologic and Spine Institute ... (read more)

In playbook of parenting, patience is the goal

"Because I Said So" column in The Commercial Appeal

July 8, 2010

What is patience?

I'm not getting philosophical; I seem to have lost mine and am having trouble even recalling what it is.

I had it here somewhere, sometime before summer break and a house full of children every day.

Summer 2010 means only one thing, and if your family is anything like mine, then you've been gripped by World Cup soccer for the past month. I've used the matches and brackets as a forum for teaching my kids about patience, that elusive quality of the long sufferer.

Soccer is the sport of waiting, of passing, looking and hoping. I'm not sure my kids are completely on board with the game, though, as I heard 12-year-old Calvin leave the room the other day and tell younger brother Joshua, "Call me if anybody scores." ... (read more)

Ewing Carruthers, insurance agent

My Profession story for The Commercial Appeal

July 6, 2010

Ewing Carruthers shows up at his office 5 1/2 days, each and every week.

Nothing remarkable about that -- except Carruthers is 93 years old and he has been at it a long time.

"I've been working since I was 12 years old," Carruthers said. "I enjoy it. It's rewarding. And it pays well."

Since 1939, Carruthers has sold insurance for Mass Mutual and recently was inducted into the Estate Planning Hall of Fame by the National Association of Estate Planners & Councils.

Born in 1917, he grew up in Evergreen in a house built by his grandparents at the corner of Evergreen and Autumn, near Overton Park where his grandfather, A.B. Carruthers, tethered a black bear named "Natch" to a tree, the beginning of what would later become the Memphis Zoo. Nearby is a small street named for his family of land developers who also had a hand in developing the Evergreen neighborhood ... (read more)

For the Kids of Cooper St. in Midtown, business as usual all in the family

Feature story for The Commercial Appeal

July 1, 2010

While many kids spend their summers vegging out poolside, at camp or in front of the television, a group of children, let's call them the Kids of Cooper Street, are chopping vegetables, greeting customers and shelving inventory at some of Memphis' favorite haunts.

At 4 years old, she will probably change her mind on careers dozens of times before adulthood, but right now Ayden Smith, daughter of Ben and Colleen Smith, owners of the Cooper-Young restaurant Tsunami, has a goal.

"Ayden has decided that she wants to be a chef," Colleen said, "and with that Montessori upbringing, she's very hands-on and literally can sit down with a very sharp knife and chop things up without cutting herself."

She's too young to run her own restaurant just yet, but the environment of a small business is a good one to spend time in, according to her mother. It keeps her engaged and entertained.

"She's very interested in that (cooking), and when she's here and just bored out of her mind, we can send her into the kitchen to peel some potatoes or slice bananas." ... (read more)

Casting out our kids in oceans of the world

"Because I Said So" column in The Commercial Appeal

June 24, 2010

Abby Sunderland, a 16-year-old from California, recently ended her attempt to circumnavigate the globe when a wave broke the mast of her sailboat. Successful completion would have matched the record, which once belonged to Abby's brother Zac, currently held by 16-year-old Australian Jessica Watson.

There was endless debate before Abby Sunderland left, and since her rescue in the Indian Ocean, over whether she should have been allowed to attempt such a feat at all.

In May, 13-year-old Jordan Romero of Big Bear, Calif., became the youngest person to scale Mt. Everest, part of a growing trend of younger and younger adventure seekers. When he reached the peak, Romero used his cell phone to call his mother.

Kristy and I were surprised to learn this past week that our 12-year-old had signed on to Facebook. Calvin has weighed anchor and set his sails for a vast cyber-sea where unknown dangers lurk, prompting his mother and me to hold conferences and debates over how to best handle his foray into a new chapter of passive socializing. And it seems like only yesterday he got his first cell phone.

The computer in the home office is now a reason for worry for parents of my generation ... (read more)

Vacation filled with selective memories

"Because I Said So" column for The Commercial Appeal

June 10, 2010

Dateline: Florida panhandle, toes in sand.

I will turn this column around right now. Just a warning to you readers that if you can't behave, if you're raucous, inconsiderate or argumentative, I will turn around and take you all back home and we'll just forget about this week's column.

By the time you read this, I will be home from a family vacation to Inlet Beach, sandwiched serenely between Panama City and Rosemary Beach. Once again, we escaped from work, reality, school and the day in and day out of our every day. The stuff of real life.

Natural selection is a function of evolution. Selective memory is a function of parenthood. It's what allows us to take these four kids, sprung from my wife, and pack them into a womb-like minivan for a nine- to 10-hour drive (I missed a turn in Alabama) to the gulf coast.

Selective memory is how Charles Darwin was able to take his family aboard the H.M.S. Beagle every summer to the Bluefoot Resort at Galapagos Beach (I will research this further when I'm off vacation) ... (read more)

In social networking, 'unfriending' is popular option when coversation turns unfriendly

Lifestyle feature for The Commercial Appeal

June 5, 2010

Virginia Ivy, former Memphian and current resident of the Ozark Mountains in Arkansas, was raised with true Southern manners to believe that it is in poor taste to discuss politics, religion or money in social situations that are not specifically geared to those conversations.

"I started out on Facebook posting my political positions, but have since weaned off of it since I do not appreciate others' opinions opposite of mine when I am logging on for social stress relief," said the 39-year-old virtual manager for a New York corporate travel agency. "I un-friend people who post or link to hateful things."

Debate swirls over privacy concerns and information sharing on Facebook, but navigating the social network also leads to other questions, including those of etiquette -- what to talk about and how much to talk about it.

Certainly there is a decorum to be followed in face-to-face social situations, whether a dinner party, play date or actual date, but what of the fairly faceless medium of social media? Do the same rules apply and to what outcome? ... (read more)

First Tennessee Foundation

Corporate giving story for The Commercial Appeal

June 2, 2010

The First Tennessee Foundation recently spread good fortune across its namesake state with grants totaling more than $80,000 to 95 nonprofit groups through the foundation's Leadership Grants program. Memphis area organizations received $33,500.

The Leadership Grants program also encourages bank employees to serve on the boards of nonprofit groups and offers amounts of $500 to board members and $1,000 to board officers to be contributed to the nonprofit organizations of their choice.

In 2009, 72 First Tennessee employees participated in board service.

"If you went around our state and looked at the market presence in each of our major markets, for the most part they (employees) have been chairpersons of United Way, the chambers and involved with the universities," said Charles Burkett, president of banking with First Tennessee ... (read more)

School's out, so is structure for the summer

"Because I Said So" column for The Commercial Appeal

May 27, 2010

My family and I began our summer season last Saturday with the first weekend of the Levitt Shell's free concert series in Overton Park.

We spent the evening on a quilt spread in the grass listening to Jimbo Mathus perform his home-grown Delta music for a home-grown crowd.

It was the perfect evening as we lay there listening to songs about Skateland and cornbread, with the park and zoo as backdrop and a FedEx plane aligning itself for landing. The scene couldn't have been more Memphis-centric if Elvis and Isaac had shown up to serve barbecue.

The kids danced like little hipsters and I regaled them with a story of the time I spotted Jimbo from two checkout lanes away at the Midtown Schnucks.

Saturday night was the calm before my summer storm. School ended for the year only three days later and, just like that, our children's teachers expect us to take care of these kids all day long. We'll have to feed them, entertain them and see that they're safe.

It's going to be like a full-time job. The pay is terrible ... (read more)

Health partnership sights poor

Spot business news for The Commercial Appeal

May 22, 2010

Baptist Memorial Healthcare Corp. kicked off its partnership with one of America's leading vision benefits companies, Davis Vision of Plainview, N.Y., to provide eye screenings to the homeless and underserved of Memphis.

"The Focus on America program targets children and adults underinsured or not insured at all," said Laura Dyer of Davis Vision. "This is not a one-time thing. This is the kickoff of a partnership that will provide glasses on a monthly basis."

Those who failed eye exams were either given vouchers for reduced-cost eyeglasses from any local retailers who work with Davis Vision, or free glasses in cases of homelessness. An average pair of glasses, according to George Yanoshik Jr. of Davis Vision, is $293.

"If you can't see, it's hard to fill out a job application or find your way out in the community," said Baptist Memorial Healthcare president and CEO Stephen Reynolds ... (read more)

Strategy for growth: Jackson builds on strong corporate, federal business to expand nationally

My Profession story for The Commercial Appeal

May 19, 2010

After years away for college and work, Laurita Jackson returned to Memphis to be closer to family and raise her children in the South.

She moved home in 2003 to work for the family business, Memphis Chemical & Janitorial Supply Company, and took over as president in the beginning of May, bringing aboard a commitment to her employees and community.

"It's great working for a family business," Jackson said. "One of the things that allows us to make it work is we have a saying, 'We do what's best for the enterprise,' and that allows us to make the right decisions for the company, and also maintain our family relationships."

Memphis Chemical is a distributor of janitorial supplies, cleaning chemicals and cleaning equipment, in addition to servicing that cleaning equipment. Distribution ranges from throughout the city to nationally for some FedEx facilities and customers in the federal government such as the departments of Energy and Veterans Affairs.

"We are locally based but we do have the capability to ship nationwide, and we do that," she said ... (read more)

With chicken, it's better to be done than good

"Because I Said So" column for The Commercial Appeal

May 13, 2010

My cooking philosophy, and the title of my proposed cookbook, is "Burn Until Raw."

When I was 13 years old, my aunt put a match to charcoal and taught me how to make the perfect barbecue chicken. For a while I cooked it pretty well, too, but it's a skill I've lost over time. My chicken comes off the rack black and crispy as though pulled from deep inside the grill. When I cut into it, the kids are horrified by the sight. Poultry was never meant for medium rare.

In the time I've been a father, and the shorter time I've worked from home, I've become a pretty fair housewife. I get the kids up and dressed for school in the morning, do the bulk of the laundry and most of the dishes. I try to keep things tidy.

And, despite pleas for the opposite, I've been trying to cook more. Cook more, mind you, for one kid who eats nothing but cheese pizza and another who would eat his own weight in macaroni and cheese every night if allowed ... (read more)

Hutchison 8th-graders get long-distance lesson in global awareness

Feature profile for The Commercial Appeal

May 11, 2010

John Stephany traveled nearly 7,000 miles to teach his eighth-grade students at Hutchison School a lesson.

Stephany, a world history teacher, recently visited South Korea with the Group Study Exchange, a program aimed at promoting cultural awareness for 25- to 40-year-old professionals.

The four young professionals chosen for this trip by the sponsoring organization, Rotary International district 6800 of Germantown, include an auditor, logistics manager with Smith & Nephew, a publicist with Le Bonheur Children's Hospital and Stephany, who used the experience to teach his students back home about life in other cultures.

"Rotary is about trying to encourage communication, cultural awareness and things of this nature," Stephany said.

Even before Stephany was chosen for the trip, the world history curriculum at Hutchison was being expanded farther east from China and India to Korea and Japan. "I applied for this trip before I knew this was happening."

Stephany is no newcomer to travel; he has spent the last five summers teaching high school seniors at the School of Public Service at St. Albans School in Washington. He has also "bummed around Ireland," spent time backpacking around western Europe and visiting Germany, Prague and Poland. He visited China in 2008 on a trip sponsored by the Columbia University National Consortium for Teaching About Asia that also acted as a teaching tool for his students back home. He sees his time in Korea as an extension of that trip and an addendum to any textbook he might quote ... (read more)

Boys & Girls Clubs investing in children

Corporate giving story for The Commercial Appeal

May 10, 2010

Service Assurance, a Memphis-based information technology support and outsourcing company for the region, has teamed up with Monogram Food Solutions, maker of King Cotton products, to donate $7,500 to the Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Memphis.

"This was our first engagement with Monogram so we thought what a great way to start a relationship by giving all the revenue back to the community," said Mark Giannini, founder and CEO of Service Assurance. "Monogram's values are very much in line with ours in that they love supporting the community, and they love children and nonprofits that help children.

"It was the absolute perfect way to start what we both hope is going to be a long-term business relationship."

The Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Memphis was founded in 1955 and serves more than 5,000 youths between the ages of six and 18 through academic and recreational programs. The local Boys & Girls Clubs operates six full-service clubs, a technical training center and Camp Phoenix.

"Service Assurance and Monogram Foods made an investment," said Vincent Borello, president of the Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Memphis. "They didn't really make a donation because in the long run these are the kids that are going to be working in the facilities, these are the families that are going to be buying their products, the families that make up our city." ... (read more)

A career of service for United Way's Harry Shaw

Feature profile for The Commercial Appeal

May 1, 2010

Harry Shaw never did work for an airline.

The president of United Way of the Mid-South retired in April having begun his tenure with the organization in 1969 when a friend suggested he apply for a job with United Fund, as it was then called.

"I'm thinking it had something to do with United Airlines," he said. "So I take the interview and I come home that day and tell my wife 'I never saw any airplanes on anybody's desk' and I don't know quite what this job is, but it did sound fascinating."

In his 22 years as president of United Way of the Mid-South, Shaw has seen donations rise from $11 million upon his arrival to just over $25 million now, partly by becoming more aggressive with grant writing. The needs of neighbors cut through politics, finance and celebrity, and Shaw, with his staff of 52, is reaching one-third of the population in eight counties within three states.

"Harry Shaw has done God's work -- striving to improve all segments of the community," said congressman Steve Cohen. "He has been an untiring leader. His compassion and drive will be difficult to replace. The Mid-South certainly has a stronger sense of community and is better off because of his efforts."... (read more)

Rowdy game of tag takes dad back to childhood

"Because I Said So" column for The Commercial Appeal

April 29, 2010

Last week we received a DVD from Netflix in the mail that has allowed us to stream movies and such into our television from the Internet.

It's as though the 21st century was delivered to our mailbox.

The following morning began with a film festival of classic cartoons created by Tex Avery and Chuck Jones for Warner Bros. The kids and I laughed aloud at the antics of Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, Marvin the Martian, Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner.

It was as though the 1940s were delivered to our living room.

The plot, as it were, of so many of these old cartoons is simple. It's the chase, the hunt. Elmer chased Bugs, Coyote chased Roadrunner, Sylvester chased Tweety, and Pepe Le Pew chased anything that moved.

So it was disheartening later that same evening to watch my kids, some friends and a cousin outside playing chase. Or, rather, attempting some awful approximation of the classic childhood activity ... (read more)

Skate park competes for $250,000 grant

Metro news story for The Commercial Appeal

April 25, 2010

Pepsi contest rewards community projects

A Memphis grassroots organization that advocates public skate parks is backing the Binghampton Development Corp.'s bid to win $250,000 for a park in the neighborhood.

Pepsi, through its site refresheverything.com, is awarding two organizations, people or businesses grants of up to $250,000 every month for one year for ideas that will have a positive impact on their communities.

"Memphis is two places from the bottom among the U.S. for the amount of money spent per person for parks and recreation," said Dr. Aaron Shafer, founder of the nonprofit Skatelife Memphis and a researcher at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. "This is an incredible opportunity for churches to cooperate together and bring in some funds for their communities."

On Saturday, the Binghampton Development Corp. -- under the headline "Get our kids Moving! Build a skate park for inner-city Memphis youth" -- was ranked No. 16 among "Current Leaders" in the $250,000 category. Voting ends April 30 ... (read more)

Treehouse is platform for flights of daring

"Because I Said So" column for The Commercial Appeal

April 15, 2010

My children's aunt and uncle, Elizabeth and Toby, just returned from a 10-day trip to Spain. They visited the village of Robledillo de la Jara and the metropolis of Madrid. They sampled new foods, saw centuries-old architecture, watched a bullfight and met new and exciting people.

My family and I recently returned from the local hardware store just off Summer Avenue.

We spent my wife's -- she's a school teacher -- and kids' spring break building a tree house and planting a garden.

The house is 7 feet off the ground with a zip line that will carry a kid 50 feet through the grove of pine trees behind our house. The only thing missing at this point is any sort of railing, some type of safety precaution.

Despite the lack of safety (or maybe because of it), this is the tree house I always wanted as a child. A Swiss Family Robinson structure, a home that would have made Tarzan proud.

Some people, especially here in the South, may look at it and think "deer stand," but I know differently. In my mind it rivals Frank Lloyd Wright's house, Fallingwater, for design and placement within nature.

It is Falling Daughter ... (read more)